Cutting Down "Thankful Trees"

Thanksgiving is all about being well, thankful. Adults are usually thankful for health, happiness, friends, family, food, and other various generic things. Children on the other hand are thankful for very specific things. My daughter is no different. She expressed these things in 2 separate “Thankful Trees”. The first one was assembled by my wife.

First of all, this tree is way too happy and purple. It looks like a distant cousin of Barney the Dinosaur (which I thank everyday is off the air or I probably wouldn’t be a parent).

First leaf- Thankful for Mermaids and Princesses. This was the first thing she said. Fantastic. A mythical creature and a thing that usually resides in fairytales. No mention of us parents who slave for you everyday and make sure you stay alive each day. Thanks…

Second Leaf- Thankful for gymnastics. Again “parents” didn’t make the cut. How do you get to “these” gymnastics? It isn’t by unicorn or on the back of a mermaid. We drive you in the middle of your brother’s nap time to your class and then watch you run around like a maniac for an hour, only to have you fall asleep on the way home and become a troll in time for dinner. Don’t worry though we aren’t bitter…

Third leaf- Thankful for Family. HALLELUJAH! In distant 3rd we got mentioned. Of course being a little more specific on who you are talking about, like saying “I’m thankful for Mom and Dad” would have been better. She’s probably keeping it generic before Christmas so that she doesn’t offend anyone who might get her some presents.

Fourth leaf- Thankful for friends. Generic leaf.

Fifth leaf- Thankful for James. This is her cousin who she’s very close with. This will probably be the last time I’ll know the boy she’s talking about. Can’t wait for those teen years…

Sixth leaf- Thankful for Will. Oh I see how it is, your brother gets a leaf all to himself? Mom and Dad get stuck in the “family” leaf. He doesn’t know how to walk or talk and he poops in his pants but he gets a leaf to himself. Christmas is now cancelled.

Seventh leaf- Thankful for cows and pigs. Where is this coming from? In all the “talking” years of your life you’ve shown no interest in either of these animals. You don’t even like to eat either of these animals. I could understand if you were thankful for chicken nuggets. This is out of left field.

The second “Thankful Tree” was done in school and I have a feeling didn’t have the “guided direction” that my wife gave her.

Leaf one- When I go to Disney World when I am 4. Yeah I’d be thankful too, especially if I wasn’t paying for it. Fortunately for you, you’re not paying for it, we are. The only money you have is in your piggy bank and there is only enough for a snow cone. Guess I’m getting myself a free snow cone when I’m down there. Going to Disney World in January or as I like to call it the Mouse trap where they trap all your money…

Leaf two- Love my friends high 5. Who doesn’t like a good high five from their friends. I know Tom does, if only he could find someone to give him one….

Leaf three- I love mouses. WTF? No idea where this is coming from. Even weirder than cows and pigs. 

Leaf four- My friends giving me a hug. This is the only legit one so far. 

Leaf five- I love school. Good job brown noser. I’ll be carefully analyzing your mid term report card now that I know you are a “teacher’s pet”. 

Branch- I see you left a branch empty. Maybe you were going to put “Mom and Dad” on that last branch but you ran out of time. I would have even settled for “Dad” but no mention of us again. That branch is as empty as my heart is now… This is why I’ll tease you in your teenage years. 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Has your child been thankful for anything completely ridiculous? Or as a child you were thankful for something that didn’t make any sense?  Leave a comment below, even with a fake name so no one will know it was you. 
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